Secret Confession and Letting Go
by Saffy Neko
Summary: I gave up so much for her, because she gave up so much for everyone else. I wish I could tell her she was everything to me. I loved and hated that feeling. All I wondered was…can we ever be together? Kai's POV ...Part Five up
1. The Beginning

Hello everyone! I haven't written a new fic in quite a while. It's in Kai's POV, and it's his perspective on the story from when he first met Saya, focusing mainly on the complicated relationship he has with her. It isn't only the story itself, it fills in other details and doesn't always follow the storyline. It's my first time writing in this style—so please go easy on me-- Sometimes he's describing stuff, but most of the time I try to have him narrating the story as if he were actually talking out loud. I hope you'll enjoy this one. --

Just to be clear, Kai is 16 and Riku is 13 in this chapter--

Secret Confession and Letting Go—

Part One

The Beginning…

I guess I've heard of those stories—those crazy love stories. Mao was always trying to shove them down my throat, sighing about how "romantic" it all was—All I wanted was to get the hell out of there, but she kept shoving them in my face. Stories about how in some fateful day a boy met up with a girl—and then, something just happened, and he fell in love with her. But it never worked out, there was always a catch—some kind of messed up snag that somehow ruined everything. Maybe it would be that the girl didn't notice at all, or some stupid life situation, or there would be some other guy—some competition ready to wreck the whole thing.

Back then, I didn't give a damn about any of that—it was just a bunch of silly crap that was about as fun as a chick flick. And of course Mao made it worse by clinging onto me and saying how she loved it—"Aww, how sweet!" She'd squeal like that over and over. I couldn't understand how a stupid love story could turn a steel-willed girl like her into mush—it just didn't make any sense!

I wasn't all that interested in her anyway. Ever since that stupid accident that made it so I couldn't play in team sports anymore, I just sort of drifted off. I mean, before that I did like her company. I was getting a lot of attention from being the best athlete in Koza High, and I really enjoyed it. Before I knew it, she had latched herself onto me and declared herself my girlfriend, throwing death glares at any other girls who even glanced at me. But I didn't really mind, I just considered it one of the perks of being a star athlete.

But things quickly changed. I found that she was seriously getting on my nerves, so annoying and always wanting her way with everything. Apparently she really cared about me, so I just tried ignoring her after that stupid accident.

But those annoying story books were actually right. Love really is hell, and it's so damn complicated it makes you want to slam your head into something. I didn't find that out for myself until later…

And no, it definitely wasn't with Mao. She stayed a friend, but she really doesn't have to do with this—with that weird, bizarre—amazing thing that happened to me that day.

It wasn't very long after the accident. Dad came home with this girl I'd never seen before—she was maybe, a little younger than me. Her hair was dark and really long—she was all wrapped up in blankets and she looked dazed, sorta half-asleep. Dad brought her in, almost carrying her since she could barely walk, and Riku and I had no idea what to say. We just watched him as he walked her into a spare room and then we looked at each other. What was all this about? Who was she? As soon as Dad walked back in Riku began asking him about the situation politely but I had no time to wait for him. I just blurted out "Mind telling me what the hell is going on?" I guess I never cared about sounding rude.

Dad was used to it though. With his usual cheerful expression, he said that she was a new member of our family, and he had promised a friend of his that he'd take care of her. I was about to ask more questions, but he just waved it off, saying that she was tired and her health wasn't so great right now—so he wanted us to treat her kindly when she'd get cleaned up. Then he'd introduce us.

Riku and I talked a bit, still wondering how that had happened, and why is was so sudden. I wasn't in a good mood anyway from everything that had happened recently, so I wasn't exactly happy about having another sibling. Riku went to cooking and cleaning while I ended up pouting in a corner.

Not too long afterwards, a tall blond-haired woman wearing glasses showed up. I barely remembered that she was a doctor who Dad was familiar with, and threw her a questioning glance. She nodded to us, and when Dad showed up a minute later, she went to see that new girl. She had some supplies in a case with her, I guess it was to give her a check up or something.

Dad would usually talk to Riku and me after school if we were home, but today he was gone in one of those rooms for a few hours. Riku had been sitting and reading on one side of the pub while I just sat there, bored as hell. Normally I would've been gone somewhere, probably hanging out with my friends or something. But I was just too curious about this new girl. Especially if she'd be living with us from now on.

Finally, around 7 PM or so, Dad came out looking a bit tired, but he grinned at us anyway. He said we might not want to use the bathroom for a while, and that he'd have it cleaned up a little later. Not that I cared. Then he told us about the girl's health problems. He said she had anemia and needed blood transfusions regularly, and that she also had amnesia. Right now it was so bad that she couldn't remember much of anything. I wondered what the heck Dad had taken her in for, she sounded like she'd be a handful to take care of. But then Dad was always the caring type.

He quickly reminded us to be polite—then he told Julia, the doctor, to bring her in. Julia helped her in the diner, careful and making sure not to rush. The girl seemed like she could walk a little more on her own now, but she squinted her eyes from the lights in the room. At least she looked more awake now.

When they stopped a couple feet in front of us, I was finally able to get a good look at this girl who had showed up out of nowhere. She was dressed in something decent this time, a T-shirt and a skirt with stockings. Her really long hair had been cut short, now she had a few bangs and it tapered off near her ears. It was jet black, with a trace of indigo to it. Her eyes looked unfocused and confused, she kept looking around as if she wasn't sure where she was. At first I wasn't able to place the color, it was so strange—at first glance it almost looked brown, but actually her eyes were a deep wine color. Something between violet and red. I'd never seen anyone with that weird eye color.

Her skin was kind of pale, and she was slim, she looked small and delicate—it was strange, like if I were to move suddenly, she might break. You could almost say she was shapely, but it wasn't obvious—it was…kind of nice. The only striking feature I found other than her eyes was her mouth…such a nice shape, her lips looked plump and soft, and red—

I think by then I had completely forgotten that this girl was supposed to be my sister from now on. A very loud voice found its way into my head and started barking at me until I finally realized how wrong my thoughts had been a second ago—I looked away and took a deep breath to stop my mind from wandering again. I also wondered how the hell I'd seen all that in several seconds. I hadn't even noticed that the doctor had already left. What the heck was wrong with me?

"Riku, Kai, I want you to meet your new sister—her name is Saya Otonashi. I hope you'll welcome her warmly, she'll be staying for a while," Dad added the last part with a chuckle.

'Saya Otonashi…hmm, Saya…that name seems to fit her…' My mind managed to go on another vacation for a second, but I harshly snapped myself out of it. What does that mean—how am I supposed to know what would fit with her? I don't even know her!

Riku put his hand up in a friendly gesture, greeting her with a smile. She looked at him, a curious expression on her face.

"Saya, this is Riku," Dad said to her, in a softer tone. Saya turned to him slowly, then looked back at Riku, and slowly repeated the name.

"…Ri…ku." It was as if she had almost forgotten how to speak. I felt kind of sorry for her. Then a twinge of guilt ran through me somewhere, for thinking about her body when she was in that state.

Riku seemed kind of shy and embarrassed. He'd noticed her condition, too, and tried to keep smiling, although now it was more nervous. He looked a little relieved when Saya decided to look at me a few moments later.

"And this is Kai," Dad continued, still grinning at Riku's expression.

Saya's expression was different when she looked at me. Her eyes widened and for a while she just stared, like she was almost shocked. I felt kind of awkward. At first I wondered if she'd somehow found out about those crazy thoughts that went through my head, but obviously no one knew about that except me. But she looked fascinated, just watching me. It was like she'd never seen a teenage guy before.

Finally, a tiny smile appeared on her face, and she slowly moved her hand.

"K-…Kai." Then her hand found its way to my hair. For a second I wondered what she was about to do, when she grabbed one of my bangs and pulled. And I mean really yanked.

"OWW!!" I almost fell over, a sharp pain shooting through my nerves for a second. I hadn't seen that coming. That girl really had a strong grip.

I heard a small burst of giggles, and looked up from where I was kneeling to see her laughing. Not like she'd actually enjoyed hurting me, just silly laughing, like she had no idea it hurt at all. Dad also laughed a little, and Riku just had a bewildered look on his face.

I straightened up and took another glance at her. I'd never seen this strange new girl smile before. It made her look…sweet, innocent even. Now that the pain was gone, I think it had been worth it. I shook my thoughts away but smiled nonetheless. "Okay, guys, I get it. You love pulling my hair out."

They quieted down and Dad turned to Saya. "No, no, that's not the best thing to do, Saya." He continued to beam at all of us. "If you want to show you like them, a pat on the back or a hug is fine." He turned back to Riku and me.

"These two are your brothers now, Saya. Riku is a kind boy, he makes wonderful food and he'll keep you company."

"And Kai will be a good big brother to you. He'll keep you safe and protect you. Isn't that right, Kai?" He threw another cheerful smile in my direction.

"…Yeah, sure I will…" The idea of having a sister didn't sound so bad now. I still wasn't used to her at all, but I think…it wouldn't be so bad. I might learn to like her.

I wasn't sure if Saya understood much of anything Dad had said, but it seemed she was a quick learner. She looked at Riku and me and gave another genuine smile. Then she messed up Riku's hair and sort of hugged me, but almost fell over instead.

I was completely startled when she half-hugged me and grabbed my shoulders to keep from making contact with the floor. I had no clue what to say, I just froze in place.

Finally she pulled herself up so she was standing again, and looked at me while still holding onto me. I was still completely brain-dead as I stared back. Only now a million feelings were racing through me, that same mixed-up craziness I'd been trying to get rid of this whole time. But I couldn't fight it for the moment.

Then she flashed another one of her smiles. She was oblivious, but it didn't change how I felt.

All three of us were surprised with what she said next.

"…H'lo, Brother!"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

I lay awake that night. My eyes just wouldn't close. Everyone seemed happy that Saya was now a part of our family. I was too. But I just couldn't ignore those stupid thoughts. At least not completely. They just kept coming, just when I'd thought it wouldn't come back to bother me again. She was supposed to be my sister! It was wrong to think any other way…but still, I couldn't completely smother those feelings…and I didn't really understand what those feelings were, either…

I had no idea until much later, what it would turn into, and all those problems that would come with it—but somehow, it would still be worthwhile—

--AN: I'll update in around a week! I'll give you hugs and chocolate for a review—I'm glad to be writing a Blood+ fic! There certainly aren't enough out there—

'Till Next Time,

Saffyre Neko


	2. Under The Sunset

Hi again! I'm glad you've liked this so far--the reviews/faves mean a lot!

--So this is the next part, Kai is also 16 here, and just so you know what "general" means in this fic--the story also has humor, angst, horror, tragedy, and drama at different times. In pretty much every chapter there will be an "explanation" part and a part with dialogue. And when we get to the actual part where the story takes place, there will always be some kind of scene in the chapter that isn't shown in the anime--

Oh, and I'll say this so I won't have to say it again in the fic--I don't own Blood+, any of its characters etc. Now I have a disclaimer, even though you all know I don't own the anime anyway--

Part Two

Under the Sunset

The new girl, our new family, Saya—got better with her health and her amnesia. It took several months, but over time she didn't look so weak and pale anymore.

We took her everywhere with us. She spent all her time home at first, but later we'd also take her to the park, or grocery shopping, or for her weekly check-ups. A lot of the time it was all four of us.

She never seemed to remember anything about who she was or where she came from. Dad didn't seem to know whether her amnesia would last or not. And she had some really weird habits. Whenever she saw something new she didn't recognize, she'd look it over and then break it or tear it apart. She did that with wine bottles, posters—she even ripped up one of Riku's favorite books once. She'd also do silly, absent-minded things like smash ants crawling on the sidewalk, while she'd stare and not say anything. She didn't talk very much at first.

When she talked more a couple months later, she also said odd things. She'd often say stuff to Riku like, "Can you cook soup with bugs?" And once in a while she'd randomly point at me and shout "You look silly with your hair red and messy!" I'd give her a look saying, 'What the heck does that mean?' My hair was always red and messy. She'd just laugh and smile after she'd say that, and after a while I figured out it was her own funny way of giving a compliment.

One of the most obvious things that made her different from other girls was her huge appetite. She was almost always hungry, and she'd easily chow down on a meal three times the size I'd eat. She didn't really seem to know what the word "diet" meant. She always loved Riku and Dad for being great cooks. We always knew when she was hungry, too. Her stomach did the talking for her. Over time she became embarrassed with that. Whenever she turned away and tried to hide that loud growling, I'd just smile to myself. It was kind of cute.

About six months after Riku and I first met her, she started going to my high school as a new student. At the time I was a junior, and she went as a sophomore. She was a little nervous, but more excited than anything. By then she was acting a lot like any other teenage girl, and didn't seem too different from the rest. I took her to school and back on my motor bike at first, walking her to class for the first couple of days.

When other students—mostly girls—asked me about her, I wouldn't say much. I'd just look away indifferently. They didn't bother me over it after a while.

Soon Saya was taking the bus to school and back. She would even go visit a new friend of hers. She was so happy about it, telling us all about her. I think her name is Kaori.

She also joined track and took long-jump after school. She seemed to really like sports, and she was good at it. She came so far with everything in a short time. It made me proud of her.

Whenever I was in high school from then on, I ignored Saya. My reputation was still important to me. As far as the other students knew, even though she was new and my sister, I had nothing to do with her. But they still knew not to mess with her, since the girls didn't want to risk rejection and guys didn't want their faces beaten in.

I wasn't home all the time, but whenever I was I did my part to look after her. I really became a different person when I was with her, and I didn't have my image to keep up. I could just drop my guard around her, and it felt good. She never lost her optimistic attitude, and it helped me forget the problems I had several months ago.

Those weird emotions I'd felt in the beginning still came and went once in a while, but now it didn't come all that often. When we all started taking care of her, I didn't feel weird like that at all. I felt like I was with a little girl most of the time—it was almost like complicated baby-sitting. I was relieved my mind didn't wander. But even later on, when those thoughts periodically came, I didn't let it get to me.

They still didn't make any sense though.

At times, if we were alone in the pub and she was talking to me, I'd find myself staring at her too long—then I'd quickly glance at something else and swallow a lump in my throat, hoping she didn't notice. Times like that were so damn uncomfortable, I'd want to disappear.

But then, on those rare times she needed me to give her a ride from school, and we'd take those scenic routes she loved, it was so different. I'd keep a straight face and concentrate on the road, but those same thoughts in the back of my head suspended me in some hazy daydream. Just the warmth of her arms wrapped around me from behind was enough to make me content...It was almost thrilling, even. It was a precious moment, that only I felt...and I never wanted it to end.

I couldn't kill those feelings. I didn't want to—so I just locked it up in my mind somewhere. I'd never let it make me do something stupid.

Her personality changed from being silly and vacant, to more kind and thoughtful. It became more apparent as the next couple of months went by. She did well in school, and she was still cheerful most of the time—but it seemed like she had a lot to think about. She was a fun sister and a good friend. It made me admire her and want to protect her.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

One day about two months after she first went to school, Saya was sitting in a corner of the diner, lost in her thoughts. She seemed more restless than usual, like something was bothering her. She'd been that way a few times lately. Earlier on I left her alone, but this time I decided to talk to her.

"Hey—what's up?" I leaned on the table next to her, waiting for her to notice me.

In a couple moments she realized I was there, and turned to me with a smile. She still looked troubled, though.

"Oh—hey, Kai," She looked in another direction. "Um, nothing much..."

I spoke before she drifted off again. "Is something bugging you? You look kind of down lately."

"Ah, yeah well—it's not that important, really—"

I gave her a determined look. "Tell me. I want to take care of whatever problem you're having."

She almost laughed and playfully punched my arm. "Don't be so stubborn, Kai."

I pretended to be annoyed. "Pfft, I don't see you doing anything about it."

She looked kind of sad again. "...If you want to know, it's just...I don't know. It's hard to explain," she turned to me, even more upset, "I've just been confused and angry! I have all these thoughts in my head, and feelings—like it's all stuck and I can't get it out. Sometimes I want to scream at something, but I can't do that here, or in school—" she sighed and looked down, a resigned expression on her face. "It's like I'm trapped, and I don't know how to get out."

I realized what she meant, and smiled a little. I put a hand on her shoulder so she'd look up at me.

"Ah, so that's what's bugging you? I thought it was something important," I grinned wider when she frowned at me. "You just need a place to vent, that's all."

She looked puzzled. "A place to...vent?"

"Yeah. It's a place to sit and think where no one'll bother you. You get out all the crap you're feeling and then you're better after that."

She had another thoughtful expression, but then gave the table a sour look.

"But...that doesn't sound any different from here in the diner—only I don't feel better..."

"Nah. People are always passing through Omoro's. You need your own space." I walked towards the door and grinned again when I turned back to her.

"If you like, I can show you a place where you can scream all you want. I think you'll like it—and it's not too far from here."

In a few moments she nodded and returned the smile, getting up to get a jacket. I grabbed spare keys to the pub and we left.

After a twenty minute drive, I parked my bike and we walked down a hill and a bunch of stairs.

By then we reached a sandy beach. It was sometime after 5 o' clock, and the sun was beginning to set since it was late autumn.

We walked for a few minutes until we reached a secluded spot, right next to a huge cliff. I let myself fall into the sand as I sat down, and Saya stood a moment before doing the same.

I explained to her that this is where I'd usually go to think over any issues I had. Then we both fell silent.

For a while we just stared at the waves crashing into the sand and rocks. There was no one around, as usual. I liked it that way, since I was around people most of the time. I thought about how much everything had changed ever since Saya came to live with us. I also wondered what she was thinking about.

Several minutes later, she took a deep breath.

"...This...place...is so soothing. It's already helped me feel better." She gave me a slight smile, "I'm glad you brought me here."

I smiled back as she continued.

"I guess, I just...don't have someone to talk to that often."

"You have Kaori, don't you? Isn't she a friend of yours?"

She looked away. "I love her—she's a great friend. But I don't know if she'd understand..." she trailed off.

She glanced at me with a weak smile. "...Besides, I like to spend time with Kaori when I'm happy." She ran her fingers through the sand. "And I don't think the rest of my family has much time to talk, anyway..."

"I know what you mean. Both Dad and Riku are always busy—Little bro's caught up in chores and homework all the time, and Dad's busy managing Omoro's—either that, or he's buying more food for you--"

Saya giggled a little at that, before turning back to look at the ocean. She looked serious again.

"...There's been, some...heavy thoughts on my mind, lately. I'm so relaxed here, I'd like to tell you about it...I hope that's okay."

I nodded to show I was fine with it.

"Well...I've only thought about it lately, but...I'm really starting to wonder...about my memories. I don't know anything about my life before I came here. I was alive for sixteen years before I had amnesia. I feel like something's missing from my life...something important must've happened. But I still can't remember. I want to know who I used to be...and what I left behind. But I don't know if I'll ever find out."

I was surprised as I looked at her. I had no idea such deep problems had been going through her head lately...no wonder she'd been so troubled.

I attempted a smile as I looked at the waves again. Searching for a reply, I began to speak.

"Saya..." she looked at me."...I have no idea what happened to you, or how to fix your problem. But maybe you should think about what Dad said." She looked curious as I said that.

"When something bad would happen, he'd do his best to smile and say, 'Live for today—but look forward to tomorrow.' ...I think what he means is that no matter how bad a situation gets, there's always a bright side—you just have to look for it. And that it's always better to enjoy what'll happen in the future, instead of getting upset over the past. You had amnesia, Saya—and you have questions about what happened in the past…but now you have us, a family and friends. We may not have those answers, but we'll always be there for you."

She smiled at me, and I let out a breath.

"...I haven't told you this before, and I don't think I'll say this again...but a while before you showed up, I felt angry about everything. I thought my life was completely unfair, like I'd lost what meant the most to me. I'd get into street fights, I ran away from home a couple times—but I never felt better. I was still frustrated. But when you appeared, and I needed to help take care of you, and you always smiled even though you've been through so much—it made my problems seem like nothing. Now you also have all of that to think about—I just wish I could do something more to help." I felt a bit guilty as I smiled again and looked down.

"I never knew what those words meant—those words Dad said all the time. But I think I figured it out after I met you. You always made the best out life--no matter how bad it might've been before."

I turned to her but didn't look at her face…I didn't want to see her reaction.

"I know I don't talk to you at school—and sometimes I still get in fights and get angry about my life. But I think I'm learning to make the most of it now...I'm trying to find the best it has to offer. And that's thanks to you, Saya. So don't forget about that yourself. I want you to keep smiling. I know you're still my silly, fun-loving sister. And I don't know how to thank a person for helping me like that, so all I can do is be the best brother I can to you. From now on, I'll be here to protect you—"

I was cut off all of a sudden when she hugged me. I was so startled, I had no idea where it came from--her arms were bundled up in her jacket sleeves and behind my head. She pulled herself closer to me as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"—Please...just stop talking," was all she said.

I gladly stopped, I'd probably talked way too long anyway. It calmed me down being this close to her—I closed my eyes and listened to the waves crashing in my ears. But my heart seemed to have a mind of its own—it raced faster the longer she held me in that sudden embrace.

Finally, I managed to pull away from her—I think I would've forgotten the whole conversation if I'd stayed that way much longer. I found a variety of emotions on her face. She looked happy, sad, confused, touched, and affectionate—a couple of tears brimmed in her eyes. I was completely at a loss for what to say. But she managed to find her voice as she looked at me.

"I don't know why you're thanking me—I haven't done much of anything. You've already done so much for me—it doesn't matter how your life was before, it doesn't change how kind you are. Dad and Riku, too—you've all taken me in and given me a life I'll always love," she pulled away completely as her features molded into a smile.

"You're my family—I can't expect you to give me anything more."

A half-smile crept onto my face that mirrored her gentle one. I looked away, and after several moments gave a firm reply.

"—I want to give you more, anyway." My hand reached over and wiped her spilled tears away.

She didn't say anything...and glancing at her expression, I think she couldn't.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

We watched the view on the beach a few minutes longer.

"...Kai."

"Yeah?"

"—You know another reason I'm happy you brought me here?"

"What's that?"

"...I'm glad I got to see this amazing sunset."

I followed her eyes to the wispy scarlet hues of the clouds, traced by yellow and violet. The sun had almost completely faded into the ocean, leaving something peaceful in the dark sky.

As I drove us back home, I heard her saying something, her words half-swallowed as the wind rushed by.

"—That sunset reminded me...that tomorrow will be better. And the sun will always be there—just like you, Kai."

I'll never forget that day.

--AN: Ok--I hope you liked the fluffy-ish-ness. This will be the last of the more "tame" chapters in the story, at least for quite a while--PLEASE REVIEW!! It keeps me wanting to write--

Bye for now!

Saffyre Neko


	3. Stained Scarlet

Ok, hi everyone! I must give a shout to RadiantBeam who was kind enough to review both of the first chapters--

So now Kai is 17, as he is for a good part of the anime. When mentioning stuff going on in the original storyline, I may describe it in detail or I might gloss over it. It just depends on how important it is and if it has to do with Kai. Oh...and I made a bit of a mistake with the time-frame in the last chapter. It actually would've been early summer at that time, not late autumn...but it fit best with the scene, and it's so minor I don't think you care anyway. Just thought I'd mention it.

The tone is different here than the last chapter. Enjoy!

Part Three

—Stained Scarlet—

Around four months went by. Saya had gotten better since I showed her that hideout, and she didn't seem so upset anymore. It looked like she was more cheerful than ever.

Sometimes I thought about the time I talked to her, when we saw the sunset. I know she felt better since then, but I still felt like an idiot. I had no idea why those words came out of my mouth. I mean, I guess they were true…I don't know. I really wasn't sure what to think.

All I knew was if the guys ever found out about it, they'd never let me live it down. They'd call me weak and say I'm a loser for catering to my sister like she can't do anything for herself. I think everyone would wonder what the heck was wrong with me, and my reputation would be wrecked. It'd be humiliating.

Even so, I still felt that it might've been the right thing to do…not that "doing the right thing" was important—but I thought it might've been okay, that one time...

Either way, I decided to spend more time away from her—so I was away from home more and I didn't do anything for her unless I had to…I didn't offer to help if she could do something on her own. But a lot of the time I still wanted to. It made me feel stupid.

Even though I was gone longer, I noticed that Dad would take more time off to spend with Riku and Saya, even though he was still as busy as he'd ever been. And he was even more concerned than usual and gave me a lecture if I came home bruised up after a fight. I was annoyed at first, but then I starting wondering if something was up that I didn't know about. He even seemed kind of nervous. –Maybe it had to do with that uptight David guy. He always acted weird and serious, and he'd been showing up to see my dad more than usual lately.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

A new school year started in September. This time Saya was a junior. Now that I was a senior, everyone else would constantly pay attention to me. I had to be a "rebel" and not care about the rules to live up to my image. I'd started being that way a little before Saya appeared, but now everyone expected me to stay that way. So basically that meant that this year I'd have to act even more like a badass. It made guys respect me and girls go crazy when I'd walk by. I liked the respect, but I hated all the attention—and Mao certainly didn't help. She was also the only person who kept bugging me about Saya. I don't get why she still wanted to know about her. She was so damn nosy.

—So, I acted even more annoyed whenever I had to talk to Saya in school. I think she understood, since she never seemed upset about it—but I was beginning to hate always being that way. Acting indifferent or arrogant all the time and beating up whoever insulted me was starting to wear me out.

A couple weeks after school started, I had to give Saya a ride to the clinic for her weekly appointment. I told her to come impatiently, pretending that I wanted to get out of there whether she was ready to go or not. Actually, I did want to leave that stupid school, but not because of her.

She took longer to come than usual, and when we took off down the road, I noticed how distracted she was. Finally when she said something, she mentioned that she heard I played baseball. That was kind of out of the blue. I mentioned something about having quit a while ago. She sounded almost unhappy when she told me she thought she'd know more about me, after being around for a year.

I told her it didn't really matter since that was in the past, and reminded her she was part of our family. She seemed more relieved then. I wanted to take her mind off the subject, so I asked if she wanted me to drive by some scenery—I hadn't done that for her in a month or so. She eagerly told me she wanted to go by the ocean.

The weather was perfect that day, and it felt pleasant as the wind blew up in my face. We were right next to the shore—it would've been the best place to sleep my cares away. I felt her turn towards the ocean, and she was quiet. I remembered she's relaxed when she's like that. I quickly glanced back at her to see if I was right—and found she wore a soft smile as she admired the view. Turning my eyes to the road again, I felt something kind of warm wash over me. I was glad I could still make her smile.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

After dropping her off, I went to the deserted streets in town. It was where I usually went, especially since I was in school again. My pals weren't around and I wanted to just relax somewhere near the beach, but I had to be there. If I didn't come to "show I was boss" and rough up the idiots around here sometimes, word would get out that I might be a coward or weakling—it was all I could do now since I wasn't taking sports anymore. It was so damn aggravating, keeping up that image, but that's who I was in high school—it was a different life than being with my family.

I was really bored today, since my buddies didn't show up and no one else was around either. Finally when it was starting getting dark, a couple guys showed up. I was glad I'd finally get this over with. I just glared at them and as soon as they saw the look on my face they started jeering at me. The usual idiots. When I urged them to come at me, one of them ran to punch my face. I easily kicked him out of the way and turned to the other guy, who was about to grab me from behind. When he found that his friend couldn't help him for the moment, he pulled out a switchblade. Before he could do anything with it, I knocked a few of his teeth out with a hook to the jaw and got it out of his grip, throwing it out of reach. I shouted at him about being a coward for not using his bare hands before punching him a few times in the gut. He couldn't fight back, he was too slow.

I was lucky this time—all of these guys on the streets were pretty stupid, but most of them were good fighters and I'd get pretty beat up before I could finish them off. These guys were strong, but too sluggish.

I finally took the guy out, kicking him towards the ground as he fell unconscious. He'd had a lot of stamina, I'd give him that. I turned to the last guy, who was on his feet by now. I was determined to finish him off too, but he lost his nerve and took off. He was probably weaker than the last guy.

Just as I was about to run after him, my cell phone rang. I hated being interrupted but I knew no one would call me unless it was important. I sighed as I answered it. Dad was on the other end, and sounded worried when he told me to pick up Saya from school since it was late. I was annoyed, I didn't know why she was back at school but when Dad got more upset I told him I'd get her.

I hung up and frowned, bothered by a nagging headache. I never liked to see Saya or the rest of my family when I was in a bad mood, and I was always in a bad mood after having to deal with those street thugs. But I also knew it wasn't like Saya to go off when it was dark. A bit concerned and reluctant, I found my bike and drove away as I wiped off blood-stained dirt and sweat.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

It was completely dark by the time I reached the school. The place looked deserted, and as I went to the locked gate I felt more nervous for some reason. I climbed over and called for her. At first I didn't see anyone around, but when I reached her usual hangout under a tree, I found a teacher just laying there. What the heck was he doing here this time of night?

Then I noticed his head and neck all cut up, and even though there wasn't much blood, he was dead. It looked like he had been screaming.

"…What the hell is going on?" Freaked, I wondered if a criminal murdered him. I ran off—I had to find Saya, she could be in danger—

I quickly noticed that the glass windows were broken in the main school building, and went inside. When I switched on my flashlight I saw drops of blood on the ground, making a trail through the hall. Even more anxious, I ran and followed the trail hoping it didn't belong to Saya.

After a while the trail stopped in a lab room, and I called for her again. I finally saw her…lying on the ground. Some strange guy I'd never seen was on top of her…kissing her.

"Saya…" I was too stunned to say anything else.

A couple thoughts flashed through my mind over what the hell this was all about. At first I thought he was the murderer, and now he was after Saya…but then I realized she didn't look scared at all. She didn't even notice me. Then I uneasily wondered if she met him somewhere and they snuck in here to make out…for a moment the dead teacher left my mind.

Before I had any time to react, a loud hissing roar echoed through the room. I flashed my light towards the sound and found a huge monster staring back at me.

"—What the hell?!"

I almost jumped back, seeing that horrible thing and wondering where the hell it came from—It was like something out of a really bad nightmare…

It stood on two legs like a human, only it was ten or twelve feet tall and deformed—hunched over on a desk and covered with a dark hide. It had long pointed ears and its claws were like daggers. It had shark-like teeth with fangs baring from its long snout, and its sick yellow eyes looked mindless and vicious.

It wanted to kill…somehow I knew it did. And it was staring right at me.

With another murderous roar it jumped thirty feet across the room and came at me.

I backed into a wall. A voice screeched in my head, I had to run—but nothing would move. I dropped to the floor and just stared at that thing as it cornered me.

My heart pounded in my ears and my skin turned to ice. I had never been so completely helpless. It raised one of its huge claws. Ready to rip me apart…

I was going to die. I was sure of it. There was no way out. My mind cleared of everything, except fear. Mind-numbing fear. How could I let it end like this? I had no idea where my life was going. What I would do with it. But I'd be killed…before I could do anything meaningful. I'll be slashed to pieces by this freakish monster instead. Regret and hopelessness stung my fear, and I let out a scream as I covered my head.

Silence.

A few more seconds, and I still heard nothing. Fear still ripping at my insides, I finally dared to look up.

That thing was standing over me, but it looked distracted. Letting out a low growl, it turned in another direction, like it forgot I was there.

It stepped into the lab room, and in a flash its eyes turned red. Its rumbling growl turned into a hideous thrashing roar, louder and more chilling than all the others. I heard the windows in the room shatter from the sound.

It jumped in the direction where I'd seen Saya. I was barely able to shove away my fear, and used the wall behind me for support as I tried standing up. I could only hope that she'd somehow be alright.

I'd barely found my footing when the ground shook. Something huge had hit the wall in the room, and all I saw were clouds of smoke. Fear bit at me again, I couldn't even guess what was happening.

After several seconds I heard more roaring in the room, and some crashing sounds. It was almost like there was some kind of struggle. Then I heard someone yell…I could've sworn it was Saya.

There was a strange noise I didn't recognize…it sounded like bones crushing. And then something fell to the ground with a thud, along with this other loud noise…something like water spraying.

When it was quiet again, I bent down to grab my flashlight and slowly stepped towards the doorway. I'd have done anything to get out of there…but I couldn't leave. Not without Saya…

"S-…Saya?" My voice was shaking. The room had a strong smell I couldn't recognize…

When I spotted her, I couldn't…I couldn't believe it was her. It looked like her, just like her…but her face…it was splattered with blood. She looked completely calm, but her eyes were different…narrow and sharper…and red. They looked so cold, and mindless—

Just like the eyes of that monster…

----------------------------------------------------

AN: 'Kay, hope it's been fun so far! So much DRAMA! ...Eh, sort of. Yeah, so reviews will make me really happy...and I'll update again in about a week!

See ya--

Saffyre Neko


	4. A Messy Night and a Pointless Chat

Here's a Shout: RadiantBeam, The Last Z Fighter, Edward'sTrueAngel and Sin of Otaku--thank you all so much for reviewing the last chapter! And thanks too for everyone who's faved the story! --hugs and smiles-- I'd like to let you know, if you have any questions/comments regarding the Blood+ anime or my story, just leave a review with that--or P.M. me if you aren't signed on as an author--and I'll answer to the best of my ability. But I can't say I'll go and spoil the story for you! XD

So, sorry it took so long to update with the next part. (college finals blahblahblah--) I hope this chapter will also be as fun to read as the last ones--it was difficult to put my own scenes within the original story this time around. So instead I focused on Kai's take on stuff (well, that's one of the main focuses anyway--) and I changed the dialogue around. So you won't hear folks saying the same stuff as in the show--I hope you'll like that, I'm trying to make the dialogue sound natural--

Once again, the tone will change in this chapter. Have a fun read!

Part Four

A Messy Night and a Pointless Chat--

I wished I couldn't see anything.

I wished the darkness from this confusing, twisted night had made it so I couldn't see. I didn't want to see, or hear, or smell…any of this. I only wished it was all a crazy dream.

But that light I was holding showed everything. It was like some kind of morbid piece of artwork, with blood and body parts splattered all over the floor. It was more than I could handle—

But then she was also there. It didn't look like her at all, her ripped clothes, her face stained red…and that expression. That damn expression. It was like she wasn't human at all. It wasn't Saya. It couldn't be Saya.

…But I couldn't keep lying to myself. Who else could it be? Seeing her like that made me gasp and step back. I was shocked, afraid, confused…hurt—

I only wanted to know how this happened…and more than that…

Why?

After a long, drawn-out silence, she looked at me. She hadn't even seen me before now.

"…Kai?" I could hardly tell it was her voice. It sounded so harsh—

She turned around, and saw a glass reflection of her face behind her. After staring a few moments she dropped a strange bloody katana she had been holding. Then she held her head and let out an ear-splitting scream—

I had no idea how to react. What the hell was happening to Saya? I'd never seen her like this before. I wanted to stop all of this, I wanted to see her smile like her old self again—

Those thoughts flashed out of my mind when I saw her drop to the floor as she fainted. But before she hit the ground that weird stranger caught her. It was that same creep who had been with her before…

After what happened tonight, I already knew that I hated him. From his strange formal ancient-looking clothes and stringy-black hair to that vacant expression. And the way he studied her closely as he held her like that. I hated all of it.

None of this happened before he was around.

I noticed him murmuring something.

"…You are beginning…to wake up—"

"Hey, you! What do you know about all of this?" I was already burning up from anger. "What did you do to Saya? And this…" I pointed at that monster's mangled corpse. "—This thing! What the hell is going on?!"

I was still afraid as hell, but I wouldn't let that stop me from getting Saya back and from figuring out this whole situation. I wouldn't let him see how scared I was either.

But he acted like he didn't hear anything. He just glanced at the dead body for a second and then turned towards one of the windows, still holding Saya.

I shouted as I followed him, but came to a stop behind him when I heard the sound of helicopters outside.

Now what was happening…?

When I'd just figured out that helicopters were definitely here, using searchlights and looking for something, the stranger grabbed my arm. For a second I thought I'd freak, but before I could do anything he jumped out the window and dragged me along with him.

The cold wind slapped my face—all I knew was that he was leaving the school fast. I had my eyes tightly closed, so I couldn't tell where we were going. And it was weird, because he didn't seem to be running at all.

I think only ten seconds passed when he roughly dropped me on hard concrete. I got up after a second and found myself on top of a building, and then I saw the school with those helicopters around it. The three of us were already over a mile away from there.

I couldn't stop myself from staring. How had he gone that far, so fast…and while carrying two people?

But the shock I felt went away in seconds when I saw Saya lying on the roof—where that weird stranger put her. She was barely conscious, and weakly said my name…I was so worried about her that I forgot about how surprised I was, and didn't care when I saw that the stranger's right hand looked like some strange deformed claw. None of that mattered, I just ran to her side as I called to her. I was so glad she was able to move or say anything at all. My worry turned to anger again for a moment as I cursed at that bastard who had done this to her…but when I looked up I saw he was gone. My anger faded away as I knelt beside Saya, as she fell completely unconscious.

I took Saya to the clinic where she got her usual treatment as fast as I could. I couldn't move too quickly though—I had to support her with one arm and drive my bike with the other. I was so damn worried that it all went by in a blur—I don't remember much of it at all. Only that anxious feeling that kept eating away at my stomach.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

When I arrived it was late at night. I found Julia right away and she took Saya in a room without asking about what happened. I waited outside for a while until she told me I could come in.

When I went in her room Saya was cleaned up and in a bed. I sat near her and studied her features as she slept. She looked peaceful, but at the same time had some kind of expression like she was having a bad dream—

Julia left the room for some time. She told me Saya had no injuries. I was so relieved, but—but as she lay there, helpless like that…I was still worried, and afraid. I couldn't help but feel guilty, like somehow all of this was my fault. If only I came to the school sooner…

I also thought that incident must've had something to do with that bastard who appeared there. I honestly had no idea how much he knew about what happened, but I wanted to blame him for everything.

And I was still in the dark about a lot of it. Just what destroyed that monster? How did it get butchered like that? …That was a question I knew I couldn't find the answer to. I mean, it's true that Saya was holding a sword, and she was covered with blood that wasn't hers…but none of it made any sense. How could a girl like her take down that huge horror-movie science fiction-like thing?

But the answer really didn't matter. None of that incident made sense in the first place…I was just so glad Saya had somehow survived. She was okay. But she was still in that state, she became a different person somehow, and now…now she was unconscious in a hospital bed.

Damn it, I was such an idiot. A helpless, stupid coward. I should've gone in and tried to keep that from happening to her, no matter what had been after her. I should've been there to keep Saya away from both that monster and the strange bastard…but instead I was the one who needed help. It was probably a miracle that either of us survived at all.

I knew that if anything had happened to her, if she'd been injured…or killed…I could never forgive myself. I already felt like a failure—

"Damn…" I muttered to myself. I had been narrowing my eyes at the polished white floor. I couldn't shake off how frustrated I was.

I looked at her again. I wanted to touch her hand, and offer some kind of support…but I don't think I deserved to do something like that for her. I felt…almost ashamed.

"Saya…" I said her name softly. "—I…I'm sorry."

All I could do from that moment was watch her, and stay with her. I was scared for her…I just wanted her to wake up.

A little after midnight Dad arrived and told me to go home and get some rest. I didn't want to leave, and I tried to tell him what happened, but he just said I needed to go and watch Riku. I pounded my fist into the wall outside the room…and as I left I cursed at how weak I was.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

I woke up early the next morning, I was glad I got any sleep at all. I noticed Dad hadn't left the hospital as I greeted Riku, and went to sit for breakfast. I switched on the TV.

The morning news was on—but instead of the usual depressing stuff there was a report of the incident last night. Both Riku and I watched as the reporters said that the murder from last night was done by some criminal who was arrested last night—

This was weird. I was positive that the "murderer" was dead and wasn't human at all…so either the police were clueless and confused it with someone else, or…wait. Were they covering it up? --And what was really weird was that the military was involved—they wouldn't give the public any current info on the suspect, and they wouldn't release the body of the teacher that had been killed either—

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

I left soon afterwards and found the school was closed for the day. There was a scene where the public and the media were making all kinds of noise in front of the school gates. I slung my pack over my shoulder as I watched. I hoped this mess would get out of the limelight soon.

A couple minutes went by and I noticed a girl wrap her arms around me from behind. I didn't bother to turn around, since it was obvious who it was. That loud and bossy voice that rang in my ears always gave it away.

I simply acknowledged Mao before she started saying something about how bothersome the news reporters were. It didn't take much for me to lose my patience and get bored, so I decided to leave. She hitched a ride along with me as I took the shortest route out of there. That was the usual thing she did with me, so I was used to it. We were supposed to be a "couple," anyway—

I parked near the main shopping center downtown, and sat on a ledge only a few feet away, as Mao sat next to me. Planted flowers were nearby, but the cheerful look it gave was nothing like my mood. I stared at the silver and bright maroon color of my bike. I was definitely distracted.

But I couldn't help it. Being in my usual daily life now, it was so…different. It was just weird…it's hard to explain. Something about that event last night rattled me so much—I was partly still trying to really understand what had actually happened. But more than anything I just felt depressed. Being that way made me come off as really bored and careless, but none of that mattered to me at this point.

I was also still really concerned about Saya. I knew Dad would watch out for her, but I still wanted to make sure she was alright. I could only imagine what she'd think of me after realizing that I didn't help her, even though I was there all that time…

"…Kai?" A voice seemed to ring in my head. "—Hey, Kai! Are you even listening to me?"

I sort of snapped out of my not-so-wonderful daze and turned a couple inches towards Mao's direction.

"—Mmm?" I didn't even bother to nod at her, but I wasn't in the mood to really give a damn.

She huffed at me. "Honestly, Kai, do I really bother you that much? Look at you, sulking like that. Can't we go to the mall, or see a movie or something?" She frowned in a sort of pouting way.

"What is wrong with you anyway? You've changed so much. You're nothing like the Kai I used to know. The Kai I knew liked to—"

I ended up staring at one of the store's walls as I drifted off again. Oh yay, fun. I currently felt like crap—so this was exactly what I needed.

I wanted to sigh from exasperation and because I was tired—why did she even bother to lecture me like this? Did she really think it'd change my mood or make me see things her way? I really wondered how she could be so clueless. I mean, she was both rich and street-smart. She should really be able to figure out that if I'm in a bad mood, she should just leave me alone. But since that never crossed her mind, I was fine with sitting through her rant and ignoring her.

But then she decided to obstruct my vision and stand in front of me, glaring with her hands on her hips.

"Is this all because of your sister?"

"…Huh?"

"It is, isn't it? Why do you let all her little problems get to you so much?" She sighed loudly. "She's been trouble ever since she started living with your family. Now you don't act anything like you did before! Why don't you—"

I cut her off as I glared at her.

"Look, Mao—I never asked for your advice. And my family has nothing to do with this. I've just had a lot on my mind—so do me a favor and shut up!"

She shouted indignantly. "Kai, don't talk to me like that! You've been quiet and upset like this a lot more than just today. You used to always laugh and have fun—what happened to you?"

I was beyond annoyed now. I didn't want to bother explaining anything to her—I knew she wouldn't understand anyway. She had no idea what had happened in the past day. And how could I expect her to believe me, anyway?

What was more important was that now she started sounding like some kind of jealous housewife. Not only did that make me want to get far away from her, but I wondered—why would she be that way over Saya? She really didn't know anything. Saya meant a lot to me, and she couldn't change that. Talking down about her like that only managed to piss me off.

So I decided it was high time to leave. I plastered on a fake smile as I cut into the one-sided conversation.

"—You know, I really don't know what bothered me so much. But y'know what? I think you snapped me out of it. So I'll make sure to have lots of fun, somewhere far away from here." Her bewildered look turned into a crooked frown as I poked her in the forehead.

"See ya!"

And with that, I left as I took off on my bike without her. I heard her swearing profanities behind me, but by the time I was out of ear-shot I really was grinning. I think I was finally almost cheerful for once.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Hmm...I wonder if this chapter was a little longer than the others. --Anywho, I hope it was still fun. I'm trying to keep a hold on both the drama and on some comedy. And maybe a little angst. Maybe you saw it in there. --So yeah, I'm sorry for the lack of Kai/Saya...but I know there will be more to come! --Oh, and sorry if the bad opinions on Mao and Haji in the chapter offended you--I think you might understand, it's currently Kai's view, not mine...so then I'm not too sure if you'd want to complain to him about it. XD

Please review, as always! I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season!!


	5. Gentle Misunderstanding

AN: Hi, guys...I'm SO sorry this story hadn't been updated in a while. Because of college and other life stuff (I'm having MAJOR issues with my dad right now) I couldn't get around to updating. But then, recently, I looked at how you guys have supported me so much with this story, so I felt I had to update. I owe it to you since you really have been awesome.

A Shout-Out: To RadiantBeam and SasuNaruxAyumHino...thanks for reviewing the last chapter. It means a lot. And thanks to everyone who's supported me with this...

Before going to the story, there's an important note I'd like to bring up--I have a new story I'm working on, called "Keep a Secret." It's a Death Note fanfic and it's a romance/drama based on L and Misa...it's also in both third person and first person in a way, because both L and Misa narrate the fic at different times. It's different from this fic in the way that's it's not as detailed, and I don't have everything planned out...but it's not all going by the DN storyline, it's my original fic. And also, the focus on this fic is not so much what they're both observing (as it is here with Kai mainly) but it's based on a sense of feeling. I want to portray both Misa's and L's real selves, not just what you see on the surface in the story...and it covers several things. Their pasts, their doubts...it's a lot more complicated than a simple love story.

So, if you like Death Note, PLEASE, do give it a shot. I have two chapters out as of this writing, but so far no one has reviewed...and I just feel my new fanfic is unloved. I just would like it to be appreciated the way this story is...so it would mean a lot to me if you could do that...thanks so much in advance.

Part Five

Gentle Misunderstanding

Damn…I was so glad to finally get that girl out of my hair. I knew it was her own way of showing she cared, but Mao went too far that time…accusing my sister like that when she didn't know what was going on. She'd never even met Saya.

I took a few deep breaths to try and clear all those muddled thoughts out of my head…I didn't want to be depressed and spaced out the way I'd been all day. I concentrated on what was important…getting to the hospital. I hoped Saya was awake and better. I just wanted to know that she was okay.

The drive was short to the clinic. I parked my bike near the entrance and let out a long breath as I walked towards the building. I just needed to keep myself calm—I was tired of freaking out all the time after what had happened the other night.

When I went in I saw Dad right away—he called me over and had a very worried look on his face. He told me Saya was gone, she'd run off somewhere…

_Now_ it was obvious I couldn't 'keep calm' anymore. This was the last thing I'd ever want to have happen—

I ran out the front doors with Dad. We thought of where she might've gone—we knew she couldn't be with her friend Kaori, since Saya didn't have a cell phone so she wouldn't know where to meet up with her—so I called Omoro's. Riku answered and I asked if she was there. She wasn't, so I said a quick bye and hung up…this was a pain. I'd been anxious enough over Saya _before_ she left—

For a while Dad and I had no idea what we could do to find her…but then I thought for a minute. If she remembered anything from that night, she'd no doubt be really upset…I mean, what other reason would she have for running away? –So then I realized that she could have gone to that place I showed her, the secluded part of that beach.

I told Dad that I needed to leave to get Saya, and when he was about to protest I told him to just trust me on this one. He was still nervous but he nodded and watched as I left and sped down the road. I really hoped I was right about this…

As soon as I'd driven near that familiar cliff on the beach, I screeched to a stop and parked quickly—I ran as fast as I could in that direction, shouting for her.

I couldn't see her at first. There was nothing there except the sand and waves…but when I reached the stairs I saw her clearly. She was facing the stairs…but when I reached them, I found the last bastard I wanted to see—the one I saw with Saya and that monster the other night…

He was just casually putting something away in some weird case with his back turned to me. Then when he looked in my direction, he had that same apathetic look on his face…almost bored. Like he was taunting me—

Why the hell would he have the nerve to look at me like that? Like I was weak?! …It was true, I was weak, and I couldn't help Saya…but that was before. Now I was completely determined to keep her safe. To keep her away from these freaks and monsters, wherever the hell they came from—

And now I knew exactly how to do that. I had to keep him away from Saya. He was the reason those monsters appeared in the first place, and he was there when Saya turned into something else…

I had to get him away from her—I just _had_ to!

"Get lost, Bastard!" I said as I ran to hit him. But he dodged.

So I kept swinging. He kept stepping to the side by a couple inches, stepping down the stairs each time I tried to hit him…and he had that same goddamn bored look on his face. Like he wasn't even trying!

I didn't care if he wasn't human. I didn't care if he had freakish powers like he showed that other night, or if he was ten times stronger than me. I'd beat his ass, and make him wish he'd never even looked at Saya. I wanted him to leave her alone, and get out of her life!

—But he just kept dodging!

He stepped on the beach at the bottom of the stairs, and by then I'd had it.

"Why won't you fuck off?!" I lunged with a fist to his face and put all my weight into it.

For a split second I saw a flicker of an expression cross his face. Just the slightest hint of contempt—

And before I knew what happened, I was in the air.

I must've fallen nearly fifteen feet as I hit the sand. It didn't do much to cushion my fall—and all of a sudden I was hit with pain. I couldn't think straight and my eyes were shut. It took a while before I figured out that he had thrown me into the air…I wondered what he'd do to me now—

I struggled to move so I could get up—but then I heard her voice.

"Stop! —Just stop it, please! Don't hurt him—"

I could finally open my eyes, only to see Saya hovering over me…crouching as if she were ready to defend me…she had a pleading look in her eyes.

This was totally wrong…it was completely backwards—I was supposed to be the one protecting her. Not the other way around…

"…Saya…" Her name escaped my lips before I noticed she was only inches above me…and as her gaze shifted down to me, without realizing it she moved even closer—

Her concerned eyes softened as she looked at me, and I had to make a special effort not to swallow my suddenly dry throat. Even in this situation, my logic and anger was dying away…I felt my whole body heat up as I noticed the warmth coming from her. I couldn't tell if I was like that from embarrassment, or…something else…

Dammit, I wished this were happening at some other time and place. If only Saya weren't in danger, if only that bastard were gone—

"…If that is your wish, Saya—then I will obey without hesitation…"

Saya's attention snapped to him as soon as he finished talking. I couldn't even see him, and I'd never heard him really speak before. But suddenly I didn't care at all…I was way too distracted—

She moved away from me and I made myself sit up. Suddenly hit by another wave of pain, my back and neck ached and the back of my head was throbbing. It jolted me out that weird state I was in a second ago—and I realized the bastard was gone.

…Then I noticed how upset Saya was.

"…Kai…he…" she paused, then tried again. "That man…I think he knows something about me. –About my past…"

"—Did…did he say anything to you…about it?"

Her gaze shifted downwards as an almost hopeless and disappointed look dulled her eyes.

"No…he didn't tell me anything…"

All I felt then was sympathy…I couldn't guess what had happened with them earlier, but now she seemed in worse shape than ever. I turned my gaze away from her and thought about what she'd just said.

Could it be true…did that crazy freak have something to do with Saya's past? It was suspicious that he seemed to show up out of nowhere…and he knew her name and where to find her…I was pretty sure that Saya hadn't told him about all that earlier. But then, was there any proof? …And more important than that, would he help her at all…?

So far there'd only been trouble. When I first saw him with her, that monster appeared…that's why I wanted him to disappear again, that's why I was so scared for Saya. –And the reason I had to keep her safe from them, even if I had to put my life on the line—

"…Kai?" A gentle voice nudged me out of my thoughts. I noticed for a second how much sweeter her voice sounded compared to Mao's, and turned to her.

"…Is something wrong? You were suddenly so quiet for a while…"

I put on a small smile to reassure her. "Nah, it's nothing…I guess I was just wondering about that guy, is all…"

Her eyes drifted in another direction. "…I don't really know what to think of him…" she turned towards me completely. "—But please, don't try to attack him again, Kai."

"—What? Why not? Didn't he try to hurt you like before?" I gave her a perplexed look.

"…No. He didn't hurt me at all." Saya turned towards the waves. "…I don't know why he's here, and I don't remember what happened the other night…but he didn't try to hurt me. I don't think he's trying to cause me any problems—"

I frowned as I also turned towards the water. "—I don't know, Saya. There's something about that guy that I don't like. I don't know what it is…I just don't trust him."

Her eyes focused on the sand and narrowed in thought.

"…Well maybe…maybe, we should give him a chance. He might really be from my past, and if he is, then he can tell me and I can finally find out—"

"—Give him a chance?!" I cut in with an incredulous look. "Saya, what are you talking about? That man showed up the other night with a friggin' monster—it could have killed you! Then he tried to finish me even though all I was doing was trying to do was keep you safe—after all that, you think we should _give him a chance_—?!"

I didn't realize until after I said that…the hurt look on her face. She looked almost wounded, as she shrank away from me and clasped her arms around her knees—

It took me a little while to figure out why my logical explanation hurt her so much…but then I noticed how I said all that a lot louder than I needed to…and then as I saw those tearful glances she kept shooting me while she sat there silently, I finally figured it out. This wasn't about that stranger anymore…it was about her. Who she used to be…and that life she desperately wanted to remember.

"—S-Saya, stop." I started talking clumsily. "Don't look at me like that…I-I didn't mean it, okay? –I just didn't understand…"

I turned to her and made myself look at her face. She still looked hurt, but at least she was looking at me now—instead of turning away every time I glanced in her direction.

"Saya, please…" I tried to soften my voice. "I didn't mean any of that. I didn't mean to hurt you—you know I'd never want to do that. I didn't realize…this is about your life from before, right? –I was just angry because of him…"

I sighed and tried to calm my scattered mind.

"—I…I just don't want you to get hurt."

I felt a hand lightly touch mine.

"—It's okay." I hadn't noticed that I'd stopped looking at her, and when I saw her now I found she was almost smiling. She quickly wiped away the moisture in her eyes and patted my shoulder gently. "…I understand now. You…were just trying to protect me."

I tried smiling back as I nodded to her. "Yeah…"

I didn't say anything then, because I was suddenly aware that things seemed so delicate. If I were to move or say anything wrong, I might somehow break that fragile thing I'd worked to make just now—that little moment to reassure her so she wouldn't cry. I…never wanted her to be that way, especially…because of me.

I let out another long breath and made myself look at the ocean. It always calmed me down…maybe concentrating on it would help me take my mind off what just happened…along with everything else—

She must have noticed how tense I was.

"—Kai, I mean it, it's okay. Really." She placed her hand on my shoulder and kept it there this time. "—Don't feel guilty, okay? I just reacted that way because…because so much happened…recently…"

"That's right. A lot happened to you," I began as I gave her a glance, "And that's why I'm such an idiot. …You didn't deserve any of what happened to you, that night—" I looked away. "I didn't see everything up close, but I know you went through more than me. So you must…you must really—be hurting…"

I felt something start to twist in my chest as I looked down. "…I was there, but I…I didn't do anything for you. I didn't help you, or protect you—and just now I managed to hurt you myself. If that doesn't make me a complete bastard I don't know what will."

I think I would've started being depressed all over again, if it hadn't been for a fist suddenly colliding with the side of my head.

I didn't register anything until I was sprawled on my back and in a daze. What happened? Did…did she just hit me—?

I heard a familiar burst of giggles coming from next to me, and saw Saya sitting and giving me a silly look. I held my aching head and squinted up at her—

"—Augh!! Give a little warning next time, Saya!"

She kept giggling before she quieted down and looked at me.

"—Sorry, but it wouldn't have done any good then." In a quick movement, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me up into a sitting position.

"Now quit being so hard on yourself, got it?" Her voice suddenly had a hard and almost cheerful edge to it. "I don't want you blaming yourself because of me. What happened happened—we'll just have to deal with it, okay?"

Her determined smile gave way to a softer one as she brushed the sand off my shirt. Then she quickly swept a hand through my hair. It expertly smoothed out every strand…she didn't pull or tangle anything even once.

—The way she did it, I suddenly found my mind blank and noticed a pleasant jolt shoot up my spine. How did she manage to do that so easily…?

Then when I noticed her staring at me, I quickly snapped out of it—glad I still had some of my senses…

"—Tell you what. If you promise to stop beating yourself up like that, I'll promise to stop being so upset," she said simply. I wondered where this tough side of hers came from so suddenly. "—Do we have a deal?"

I paused, and then I smiled at her…for real this time.

"—Yeah. Promise."

"Good."

As she said that she hugged me so tightly and suddenly that I wondered if I'd be able to breathe. But when she loosened her grip a little…I realized I could finally do something other than stand there without moving.

—My hands slowly reached up and gripped her shoulders as I relaxed a tiny bit—just enough to notice the smooth texture of her skin. I spent just a moment, memorizing the shape of her against me—

And then just as quickly as she hugged me, she pulled away. And she gave me another of those sweet and cheerful grins…the same as before. Those smiles that said, 'you're a great brother, and friend…that's how it'll always be.'

…And it won't ever be any other way…something inside stung from that silent message that reached my brain. She still didn't know, how I thought of her…so the way I read that must've been out of my imagination. I had such stupid wishful thinking…

—But there was no way I'd let that bother me. Definitely not now, because she was happy again. She'd pull through, even though I messed up, and couldn't be there for her when I should have…

But I'd try not to be guilty now…for her. Something told me that it wasn't a real promise, that it was just something she did to reassure me that she was okay…that weird girl, why did she have to hide stuff from me?

But despite that, I finally wasn't so on-edge now. I let myself relax completely as I lay on the sandy surface with my arms behind my head. I let my eyes drift shut and just barely smiled.

Now I could really listen to the sounds around me. The rising and falling of the tides, that constant crash that roared and died down, and the far-off cry of sea birds. And I felt her presence next to me, over to my left side…somehow it all seemed so peaceful. How long had it been since I could just relax like this?

Then I opened my eyes, and for the first time since I was here I noticed the moon shining above me. It gave off a pale glow, and it all reflected off the water…showing each small ripple, every movement it made—I'd never noticed it could sparkle like that.

Maybe, it was because…whenever I'd been here before at night, I'd never been with her—

When I looked at her, she didn't seem nearly as happy as before. She looked as tense as I'd been a while ago, curled up and staring at her knees.

"—I…I just remembered something. It was about last night—" She almost shuddered for a second.

"I…saw…blood…" she was quiet and nervous, and took a sharp breath, "…everywhere. I don't know what happened. But I…I don't know…" She shook her head violently with a torn-up expression, and then tried to hide her face.

"—I just don't know anymore! Who…or what I am…"

I quickly sat up and gave her a concerned glance, before looking away.

"Saya…" I looked down. "—don't worry, okay? You can't forget…that I'll always be there for you. It doesn't matter what happens—that's not going to change. And Riku and dad will be there, too. We're all a family…you know that. You just have to remember, you're part of it…" I smiled in her direction.

"And besides, without you, we wouldn't be that family. You're important to us…to all of us."

She gave a small smile when I said that…she even looked touched.

"Kai…"

"There's an important saying, you know," I said as I stood up and turned towards the ocean, partly to not get caught up in that sweet look of hers.

"It's called 'Nankuronaisa.'"

"—Nan…Nankuro…naisa?"

"'Things will turn out fine' –that's what it means. Dad used to say it all the time. –Whenever something happened, like the time I had to quit baseball, or when you first came to live with us, sometimes I'd go and talk to Dad." I smiled a little. "—He'd always put on a smile and say 'Nankuronaisa.' And whenever he did, he really was smiling, because it's true. 'It'll work out for the best, in the end...'"

"…Nankuronaisa." She said it perfectly that time, and I continued to smile as I looked back at her.

"Yeah…that's right Saya."

"Mm-hmm…" she smiled, and then sniffed a little and wiped something from her eye. I got a little worried for a sec, but then that teary expression went away completely when her stomach decided to tell us she was hungry—the loud way.

She got that same embarrassed look as she covered it up with her arms, but as she looked down she still had that soft smile.

I almost chuckled and took a few steps towards her.

"–C'mon…let's go home."

She stood up and gave me a warm smile. "Okay."

The drive back to Omoro's was short and quiet. But I was so relieved, she was fine now…and I felt kind of content—in a quiet way. It was so nice…such a welcome change from the night before.

We opened the door to Omoro's, that same familiar bell ringing as we went in. Both Dad and Riku were there and gave an enthusiastic welcome to Saya. It was no wonder, I was sure both of them were really worried. Saya shyly gave them back her greetings. I couldn't keep from smiling the entire time, feeling kind of triumphant for the first time in a while. 'Cause I brought her home safe, and I didn't mess up this time…

Riku gestured to all the sushi and other assorted dishes of food on the table set for both of us—apparently they'd already eaten and Dad and Riku had made lots of different recipes special for her. I was happy as I looked over at the different foods—I knew this was one way that they showed she was so important in our family. I hadn't been lying earlier--she really meant the world to us.

As we sat down and Dad and Riku busied themselves behind the counter, I absent-mindedly listened to the random rock music going on the radio. I ate about two of the dishes of food, while she ate the other six—I didn't really concentrate on eating—I just kept an eye on her, so happy as she slurped up the dishes with gusto. –I was so glad things were finally getting back to normal.

I kept thinking about it after we all retired for the night, before I fell asleep.

It was almost as if that night before had never happened—

----------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Hey guys, hope you liked it...so anyway, have fun, review, all that jazz! Please don't forget that I still love this fic and that it's still active...there will just be delays from the usual updates that used to happen. Right now I'm just not in that point of my life where I can keep that up regularly.

But please know that I will keep going with this fic! ...It'll just take longer than usual.

Much love, and don't forget to hug a friend!

--Saffyre Neko


End file.
